For Cassie B.
Who Was All She Could Be
December 20, 1983 - May 17, 1998
by Victor Montemurro

child of the sun
born under its reflected light
body in the earth
returned home
forever out of physical sight

spirit in the world
light and love of the world
radiant daughter of the moon
you are one

brilliant light of
awareness
compassion
sarcastic wit
inspirational intelligence
you are all

little Buddha
little Christ
did you know you were
one

would it have mattered
if you knew

fourteen years too few
but just enough for you
to realize
you

one
energy
kindness
intelligence
spirit
all one

little daughter
little goddess
little buddy
you are
one

 

This Is It
by Victor Montemurro

so this is it
feeling the power of pain and loss
cherishing the effects of memory
never again in your actual presence
the ultimate virtual reality

are you any less real to me
dead than alive

how ridiculous
of course you are

I can't
hold you
touch you
kiss you
hug you

no singing
no soccer
no pursuit of
academic excellence
no reading voraciously
no zany silliness in the hallway
no being with friends, cousins, family
no sharing a pizza
no advice to be given or taken
no writing
no voice with which to express
no feelings
no sleeping in late
no sharp quick intelligence
no acts of kindness

in short- no you
you're not here as you were

this is it
this relationship of memory
where joy and pain are intertwined
with insurmountable loss

where reality and unreality are blurred
by tears and confusion
what is actual was
and the virtual you is within me